YO YO YO

sorry bout the lack of posts over the holidays
just too busy, in a shoppin craze
i will be be back in action soon,
prob in the next few days, round noon.
dont worry, ill be back
when i am, my posts wont lack
ill miss you guys, this is true
yall are my blogspot crew
STAY GOLD

MERRY XXXMAS

Just a quick story for you guys, from a few Christmases ago. 

So our entire family gets together every year, No big deal. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, friends of family, sisters, parents, the boyfriends, girlfriends, and so on. It's always a huge ordeal as I am sure it is for you guys. Anyways we go to throw on some nice Christmas movie on the brand new big screen. Everybody is pumped, because the LCD flatscreens were pretty new at this time. So the entire room is focused on the TV now, and my uncle flips it on. 

PORN. Fuckin loud, close-up, and clearer then we've ever seen it.

Grossest part is, it's at my GRANDPARENTS house.

Merry XXXmas everyone.

THE EPITOME OF 2 HARD

Was in Vancouver last month, and was lucky enough to catch a Canucks game. I was directly across the ice from these guys. They have season tickets to the Canucks game, and have had those seats for a few seasons now, right beside the opposing teams penalty box. They are famous in the NHL world, and are unreal to watch during the game. They get standing ovations multiple times a game, and piss off the other team. They are unreal! 

STRAIGHT PUNCH TO THE MOUTH

HAHAHAH...basically, the teacher is talking to the parents/grandparents of a student because (from what i understand) she got caught smoking dope or somethin like that. (She says "she had THC in her system")..obviously the mother doesn't agree and is upset and fuckin rocks the teacher in the mouth! BOOya...2HARD

THE OPPOSITE OF 2HARD...2SOFT

This little man quickly realized he was in way over his head when the ride started....hahahahaha he's chubby.

I KID YOU NOT...GREATEST, BIGGEST, HEAD KICK EVER

Absolutely the biggest, most devastating head kick of all time. Also the nicest. Jumps, pushes himself off of the fence and CRUSHES the dude in the face. Absolutely sickening. 

CLASSIC. SOUNDS FROM HELL

Do you guys remember this? From the Art Bell radio show, apparently they were digging so far into the earth in Siberia, that they "reached hell". They dug so far down then dropped a microphone down to see what was there, and they heard disturbing noises. Great entertainment when I was like 12 years old, this terrified me. Of course now I know its BS, just wondering if you guys remember this, and what you thought of it when you first heard it. I still think its awesome.

Personally, I think it sounds like a Metallica concert. LOL

BEST IMPRESSIONS OF ALL TIME!

This guy is so sick!!! Does unreal LL, Snoop Dogg, DMX n Jay Z impressions, honestly too funny. Gotta watch til he does Jay Z...unbelievable. That laugh is right on!

UNREAL HIT...HILARIOUS ENDING

Just classic 90s hockey for ya...unbelievable hit by Mess, fast forward to around 1:10 for an absolutely hilarious ending. Shocking!

RIDICULOUS KIDS

A friend posted this on his facebook... I was so nervous watching this, my heart was literally pounding way too hard the whole time..especially when the kid in the red is being filmed...wtf

HOW WAS THE OL WEEKEND?

Sorry Ive been MIA.. just boozin n workin, u know how it goes eh,
how'd ur weekends go?
I'll be back in action startin today!
If I was a period I'd be a regular flow.

Hero or Villain

Just a bizarre story all together... In Florida, a man suffered a serious heart attack at a convenience store. another man attempted to save his life, by performing CPR until the ambulance came. Now he is wanted by the police...turns out after the man who suffered the heart attack was taken away by ambulance, the man who performed CPR went into his car, and stole his wife's purse.
WTF
he attempted to save a life by performing CPR until help arrived, and then robbed the victims wife hahaha.
This guy must have serious issues..talk about a conflicted personality.
Id love to hear what you guys think..
In my personal opinion, he is 2Hard

FRIDAY NIGHT...LOLZ

TEQUILA TONIGHT.
LOLZ
GONNA BE SEXY.
MY CLOTHES ARE ALREADY MELTING OFF MY DUMB LITTLE BODY.
HEHEHEHEHE
Anywho...I wont be back here til tomorrow night, as I will be crippled and unable to type until then.

Also, I stole this article from: http://dailygarbage.wordpress.com/2007/11/08/5-things-you-should-consider-before-drinking-tequila/

5 THINGS YOU SHOULD CONSIDER BEFORE DRINKING TEQUILA

5- Tequila wont make you look any sexier.

In fact, it makes you look like a total fuckface. After a few shots of Tequila, both your brain and your body are totally screwed. At this point, you feel like you can succesfully hit on any of the girls around in the club, assuming that they would totally want to suck your now supersized dick. Once you get to the bathroom, things get worse. It only takes one look at the mirror to fill the whole place with your own confidence, and all those thoughts about being the sexiest man in earth come true. IF YOU EVER feel this way, take a picture of yourself. Once you wake up check out the picture, see how wasted you were, and how awful you looked. I’d recommend you leaving it in your wallet, for further reference. Tequila: fucking yourself up since 1608.

4- You do not become twice as “cool” when drunk with Tequila.

Again, this is something most drunktards (People that are drunk on tequila will be referred to as drunktards) think. Once they enter what i like to call the “I-am-cool-as-a-motherfucker” stage, theres no going back. Remember that guy that wanted to beat the shit out of you? He STILL wants to do so. The fact you came up
to him and asked what’s up with an ear to ear smile, doesnt mean you guys are best friends now. It works the same way with the jokes. When people laugh, they arent laughing at the joke you rambled. They are laughing at the fact YOU are laughing at the joke they didnt understand for shit. Before asking everyone to shut up so you can say the joke, think about this first: Does it makes you laugh like crazy when you think of it? It’s not funny then. Do you forgot a part of the joke, but feel like you will remember it once you start going off? It wont happen, and it will only make you look like an asshat. By experience, i’d recommend not to use jokes at all when drunk.

3- After you are done puking at the restroom, there’s still a tab to pay.

I could possibly fill out a 10 word document written on Arial 2 on this one. For some weird reason drunktards think they are cool enough to let others pay their bill. Once they realize they drank 100 bucks worth of Tequila, they are already on the denial stage. It pretty much goes like this:

Friend: Hey mate, we are leaving, it’s 40 bucks for what you had.
Drunktard: Leaiving? but whaaay, that hot chick ooaver there is toootally into meeee.
Friend: Dude, that’s a poster of Marilyn Manson.
Drunktard: Huuh, i coulddaa have swwuore it was a pleeymayyte.
Friend: Uhh whatever, pay up so we can get the hell out.
Drunktard: Hoaw much did iu say it was?
Friend: 40, plus whatever you want to tip.
Drunktard: 40? butt I dideeent even get drunk, ill give you a 20 but you will have to blowww mee.
Friend: Fuck man, we really have to go, just pay up so we can leave.
Drunktard: Dooont wooarry, the owuner is my brothaa, he will paey for everaything.
Friend: Fuck it, you will owe me a good one for this shit. Lets get out before you puke on the table again
Drunktard: Duude, takee me home i doont feel vvuery well, i think they put someeethiang on my drinks.
Friend: …

Friendly advice: If you feel like someone is about to become a drunktard, make sure the bill is already sorted out.

2- IF you dont have any trustworthy friends, dont drink Tequila at all.

Whenever you go out on a Tequila night, make sure you have at least 1 guy you could trust. Once your on drunktard face, theres a SHITLOAD of crap that can happen, and it will most likely suck. If you are falling asleep, you will need someone to carry you out. The usual “I’ll have another one to wake myself up” idea, never worked for anyone, and eventually your going to end up in a deep sleep. A good friend will carry you home, but a not-so-good friend will paint your face with a lipstick, take pictures of yourself, leave you at the bar and put the bill on you. Make sure you know who you are hanging out before getting drunk.

1- Tequila wont give you super endless strenght.

Last, and most important advice: you are NOT capable of fighting. This is possibly the main reason barfights happen every single night. Some idiot gets extremely drunk, and decides to go around pushing guys that double his weight. What happens when he pisses a guy that wont take shit from anyone off? He gets beaten up. Of course, his main thought most likely was: “I’ll beat him and his 9 friends, then i’ll go take their ladies home so we can have a fuckfest”. But yeah..it never works out that way. If your friend gets to the so common “raging-drunktard”, give him 2 or 3 Tequila shots, that way this stage will end sooner than you think.

I DISAGREE WITH THIS ARTICLE..I GET SEXY AS FUCK WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA. GOODNIGHT FELLAS

FUNNIEST 16 SECONDS OF ALL TIME!

Well Dumb & Dumber is on tonight, and out of all the ridiculous scenes, I honestly think this is the funniest. I dunno if it's just me, but I cannot get enough of this. This will never not be funny.

This is also unbelievable

Who knows...maybe I just have a strange sense of humor.

WHATS THE POINT OF COLLEGE?

Everything you need to know for a job, your employer teaches you. There is always training. They don't care that you got 90% on your multiple choice college test. Who gives a what?
They care that you are there and that you are learning exactly what they are telling you.
So why the hell am I wasting thousands of dollars to go to school to get a piece of paper ("diploma")?
Cuz in reality, NOBODY CARES.

P.S.


randan. says:
 you were born in urgay
Mike says:
 u were born gay


I won.
p.p.s. yes his name is randan, the 'B' was cut off his birth certificate upon birth, thus forever changing his name officially to randan. true story.

HOW HARD IS IT TO GET A NEW DIGITIZER AROUND HERE?!?!

I'm fed up. I broke my digitizer for my iphone (the touch screen, for all you technology dummies such as myself) A MONTH AGO. And still haven't gotten a replacement. Here is how pathetic this one company is.
I ordered it from ebay. It's located in Markham, Ontario. (1.5 hr drive from where i live). So its close.
Week goes by, crickets. So I email them and say
"where the shit is my digitizer"
"Oh, we sent it"
The next day, lo and behold, I get an update from ebay "YOUR ITEM HAS BEEN MARKED AS SHIPPED"
fuckers.
So a few days later it comes in, cracked of course. So I say
"send me a new one, retards." So they say ok. 1 week later,
"Sorry, we don't have anymore, we will give you a refund."
IT TOOK YOU A WEEK TO FIGURE OUT THERES NONE LEFT?
So I say whatever, just give me my money. They give me a refund 2 days later, and I order another one off ebay. I did it quick, and without realizing it, ordered it from the same damn company.
HOW CAN I ORDER ONE FROM THEM WHEN APPARENTLY THEY HAD NONE LEFT?
jesus. so that's fine I don't care at this point I just want my digitizer. 3 days later.

Thank you for your business.
We are so sorry to inform you that we found out that your order was unable to be delivered due to 
damage that occurred during loading by Canada post. We will not be able to get a 
replacement from the manufacturer in a reasonable amount of time, so we are refunding you the full 
amount. Although we have been doing our best, we are never able to completely eliminate accidents 
like this.




HAHAHAHA. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

EASTBOUND AND DOWN

Just wanted to let you all know...this is probably the greatest show there is. If you haven't ever watched it..you are seriously missing out. Kenny Powers (Danny McBride) is 2 HARD. Just a complete badass. He plays a washed up ex-MLB superstar. It is literally comedy gold.
Here's a clip with Matthew McConaughey, unbelievable.

UNREAL! couple 'a bands for ya

Great couple of bands that you guys should check out. First one is my sister's bf's band, "THE SNIPS" so I thought I'd be a nice guy and share them with you all....they're pretty damn badass live... Second one is one of my friends band, attack in black... Lemme know what ya think. Thanks!

THE EMPTY POT OF COFFEE

Here's what I find funny. Retards who are born and raised in Canada, who GET IN GOD DAMN CAR ACCIDENTS THE MOMENT SNOW TOUCHES THE GROUND.they have been here before. they understand snow, how can they not figure out that it is slippery and FSU.

i drive on the highway the day after it snow and theres 4 car accidents. Do people not learn? Then again you got the 150 year olds who drive like 150 year olds. Personally if I was that close to death id get try and get to where i was going quicker.

Which reminds me of something else funny. The other day my grandpa was asked to buy a 20 yr warranty/insurance BS for something he bought. WTF. What does he care if his fuckin item lasts 20 yrs. He doesn't even buy green bananas.

To conclude this train wreck of a post, heres a pic my friend took.

 

They aren't even TRYING to hide the sole purpose of body lotion anymore. I FEEL SEXY

true story

 Mike says:
  booze next weekend err
<<Nate Mac>> says:
 Tie one off
Mike says:
 one or 10
<<Nate Mac>> says:
 Yah we'll play it by beer


IN OTHER MORE SERIOUS AND PRESSING NEWS:


I took a nap. I feel awesome, my breathing has regulated and my eyes are uncrossed.
I also showered, that made me feel better about myself.
My mom made apple pie too. Even heated it up in the microwave for me. what a doll.
Had some coffee. 2 sugar cubes. yep, i bought sugar cubes.
Thats my life in a nutshell (help im in a nutshell!) hehehehehhe

HALLUCINATIONS = 2 HARD

yes..... I just worked 12 hours over night, haven't slept in 30 hours...
Im at the point where I am literally going cross-eyed.
You know when you fall asleep in class, and all of a sudden your body jerks awake because somehow it senses that your in a god damn public place and you really shouldn't be sleeping? and everyone looks at you and laughs because you knocked your book off your desk, you have an erection and theres drool all over your face?
WELL TRY FALLING ASLEEP WITH YOUR EYES OPEN IN MID CONVO THEN JERKING AWAKE. HAHAHAHAHA. Talk about givign the impression that ur on crack.
Also u know when u work so hard that literally every inch of your body hurts, and your on break and girls walk by and just give u that look...like they know youre at work, givin'r, and they are so god damn impressed its not even funny. And you give them that look like, it's never gonna happen cuz im better then u? can u tell me how that feels cuz Ive never put an honest day of hard work in and chicks get sick to their stomach at the thought of touching me. hehehehehehe

DALE GOT HULK HANDS?!

Unreal deleted scene from Step Brothers...anyways I am leaving for the day/night for work so I'm a bit short on time, I'll catch up with u all tomorrow forsure. Have a dope weekend.

STEVE BRULE - FER YER HEALTH

If you're not familiar with JOHN C REILLY's character 'Dr. Steve Brule...then you are seriously missing out. If you are familiar, then you already know how fuckin sweet he is.

BIEBS MOVE OVER... I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST ARTIST EVER

Dear god...please listen to this chorus. It is so fucking inspirational and heart warming. I mean, have you ever listened to a song with such fantastic lyrics that you wonder "how the fuck did someone ever put together something this amazing?"

HAHA. This video is unreal for 2 reasons.

1. The girl is so upset    

2. Nobody gives a fuck

UNREAL FACEPLANT

This is why girls shouldn't try manly things in the great outdoors. This sounds chauvinistic-thats ok, I'm 2 HARD...p.s. keep watching till the slow mo, the girls scream is incredible.